When does it get too much?

Written by ChloeDate 08 May 2018

A guest blog from Chloe, who is undertaking work experience with NCB this week.

Everyone takes banter differently but how do you know when it’s got too much? Banter between friends and classmates and be a laugh but knowing when it gets too personal is key.

A blue handprint and the words 'when does it get too much?'Banter is the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks. They key word in that is ‘exchange’. As soon as one person part of the banter stops the teasing remarks, if the other person involved continues it becomes a form of bullying. Whether it is intentional or not, bullying is often a part of people's lives.

So how do you know when to stop? If you and your friend are joking about, here are some things that may be an indication it has gotten too much:

  • If your friend goes quiet and stops answering back
  • If they look uncomfortable or humiliated
  • If they stop spending time with you

If you are unsure if you are hurting your friend’s feelings, ask them. If they are really hurt they may not want to mention it but asking them gives them a place to ask you to say stop.

Bullying happens to all sorts of people but not everyone can say stop. Someone with a disability may feel anxious about asking you to stop or may be unable to say what they are feeling so it’s always sensible to think about what you're saying first.

Think about it from their point of view, how would you feel if someone was treating you that way? If it would hurt you then it could affect someone else in the same way.

Derogatory terms may be used within banter but could they be affecting others around you? For example, using words that are commonly known to be rudely describing someone with a disability may still hurt someone, even if it’s not directly said to them. Always think about the people around you.